


god breathes life into a hollow crown

by starrytobios



Series: for i have sinned [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (attempted), Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Religious Conflict, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, The Author Regrets Everything, the blasphemy...if hell is real catch me ending up there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26089090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrytobios/pseuds/starrytobios
Summary: “Do you believe in god, ‘Tsumu?” Tobio asks late one evening, wrapped up in his silk sheets, body sheen with a layer of sweat as he nuzzles his head against Atsumu’s chest.
Relationships: Kageyama Tobio & Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio/Miya Atsumu
Series: for i have sinned [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894735
Comments: 16
Kudos: 112





	god breathes life into a hollow crown

Tobio stands stiff, gazing up at the decorated dome of the hall, back pressed up against a wall. 

Depicted by gentle brush strokes are angels and saints alike, sitting amongst ivory clouds in their garments. And somewhere in the kaleidoscopic congregation must be God himself, observing from the seventh heaven at this scene before him, weighing the scales of existence. Tobio recollects how his mother and father had marvelled over this addition to the castle, a permanent reminder that God was watching over their son as he trained to become a king fit to rule their blessed kingdom. 

He has to hold himself back from sneering; he wonders if God can see him now, like this, so utterly sinful that it must make his blood boil, must tip the scale horribly to one side, must make the fires of hell so much hotter; it must be enough to send his parents straight up to this deity they revere so much.

 _“Tobio,”_ the breathless undertone rings in his ears, hot breath tingling against his skin, and the pressure built up against his neck has ceased, “You ain't focused.”

Atsumu grips him by the chin, tilting his head up towards him. And his _eyes_ : they are like pools of lust, so explicit in their desire that it makes him dizzy. They are a striking amalgam of various shades of brown, hazel backdrop clouded by the concupiscence carried by speckles of emerald interspersed in his eyes. It makes Tobio wish he could turn off that stupid brain of his, so spiteful and hellbent on finding answers for everything it has been taught, and lose himself in lethargic stares, evasive smirks and tousled blonde hair.

"Hey, _you_ said you weren't in the mood to train." Atsumu lightly gestures towards a pair of swords left haphazardly by the shield stands. Then he smiles — the sort of smile that makes Tobio's stomach churn — and caresses the prince's cheek with a degree of tenderness that no one but him can ever achieve, "What's troubling ya' Tobio?"

Tobio has the words on the tip of his tongue but swallows them down like bitter medicine, instead electing to crane his neck like an offering, “It’s nothing. I’ll be more focused, promise.”

And Atsumu stares, lips pressed into a thin line, as if there is something he wants to say, but with a sigh he relaxes, accepting Tobio’s offering and responding with a lingering kiss in the crook of his neck. Tobio feels himself slipping, here in this room where Atsumu trains him — _their shrine_ — where he drags his fingers along the small of his back, and intoxicates his thoughts with questions that unearth the very foundation monarchy has set into place, the very things his parents have raised him on.

Once upon a time, he thought Atsumu was the devil, nothing more than temptation brandished with sly smirks and wandering hands. And at times like this, when the older boy’s hands perch under the belt, while his lips sear against his skin, and he diminishes Tobio to nothing more than helpless whimpers, Tobio is still inclined to believe that he is a creature of hell. Tobio also used to believe everything that he was taught, like that the almighty himself had picked him to one day wear the crown, like his father does, like his father’s father did before him. 

But no.

Miya Atsumu is not the devil. And God did not shine some celestial light on Kageyama Tobio at birth to say the kingdom was his.

Tobio gets the crown because Miwa is a girl; there’s nothing special, nor fair, nor miraculous about it. She is seven years older, more sophisticated, sterner, more fit to lead with her charming nature and thoughtfulness. Tobio is eighteen, too young, too brash, too selfish and too full of frowns to ever successfully enact whatever dreams his parents have for their _holy_ little kingdom, but he has a dick and that seems to be enough. He has a dick, and so he also has a hollow crown on his head.

A hollow crown that lets everyone know that he is second only to God himself. But he doesn’t feel like it, he doesn’t understand why any deity would pick him: he’s curt and doesn’t know how to smile, what kind of king would he be? Yet still he wears his crown, rubies and all, never truly feeling like God meant to pick him.

But then there’s Atsumu.

Atsumu who intertwines his fingers around Tobio’s hands like a rosary; whose lips pray against Tobio, confessing all their sinful admissions into his mouth; who sucks amethyst verses into the wintry skin of Tobio’s neck and back and shoulders and chest and thighs, anywhere and everywhere that falls within his grasp; who sprawls him over the closest surface and makes it their private chapel behind locked doors. There is Atsumu whose hands work miracles with a sword, yet still hold Tobio as if _he_ was the spectacle. Atsumu who confessed to him just last year, whose breathless prayers still linger in his mind, who professed that he had wanted this — _needed it_ — since they were sixteen and Tobio beat him in a duel. Atsumu who got Tobio to confess as well, as if he were a god and it was judgement day, confess that the thought of him never left the prince, not since they met on that summer day all those years ago — back when they were younger, lankier, more awkward, more easily riled up.

Atsumu who gives him the courage to ask what is on his mind.

“Do you believe in god, ‘Tsumu?” Tobio asks late one evening, wrapped up in his silk sheets, body sheen with a layer of sweat as he nuzzles his head against Atsumu’s chest.

The older boy cards his hands through the silky raven strands of Tobio’s hair, shivering at the chaste feeling of warm, chapped lips against his bare skin as the heat from the prince seeps into his skin until he can feel it in his very core.

“M’not sure...do commoners like me even get a god?” He lets out a little huff of air through his nostrils, lacing their hands together, “Ma’ was real religious, but so is everyone ‘round here. ‘Samu ‘n I never really discussed god ‘cause it didn’t feel like it mattered for guys like us. Bet things ain’t like that for ya though.”

Tobio hums in response, dragging his thumb over Atsumu’s knuckles, lifting their intertwined hands to peck Atsumu’s wrist.

“Why the sudden interest? Ya’ wanna get hitched or something?” Tobio knows that it is a joke but still flushes red when Atsumu shifts down and envelops him in his lithe arms. They couldn’t do that, not while his parents still sit on the throne, not while the kingdom remains firm in its twisted beliefs, “Lemme ask ya’ as well then, do ya’ believe in a higher power, Tobio?”

Tobio frowns, creasing his brows as he thinks of the suffocating feeling of sitting cross legged as spirituality and theology was thrust upon him like a burden. He thinks of the way crosses weighed down his tiny frame, as rites and rituals set his soul alight, until his individuality was nothing but ashes. Shivering, he remembers sermons that would drag on as piety was dripped into his veins like a drug, slowly benumbing him to the world around him. He stares at his hollow crown, settled on the dresser, and thinks of the even heavier one he will have to wear one day, made of gold and tradition and doctrine yet still nothing but bullshit. He thinks he cannot believe in the God that has been built up around him. He despises too much, excoriates too many, and hasn't given Tobio meaning, could never have actually wanted him to sit on the throne next.

But then he stares up at Atsumu, all flax hair and roguish smiles. He traces the carmine indents on his collarbone and shoulders, left from him letting Tobio bite his adulation into him. He remembers the hymns he sung under the weight of Atsumu’s body, the songs of reverence and unyielding adoration that sounded from his lips as Atsumu blessed him with new sentience that he had never even dreamed of possessing. Tobio thinks of how he prostrated himself in devotion at the altar of Atsumu’s body, left with bruises on his knobbly knees and bitten lips for proof of his worship.

He thinks of how he finds heaven, not in glass art, or a pastor’s preaching, or his mother’s rants on sodomy, or when his father regurgitates psalms from a holy book, or even in the cross and candles set up in the corner of his chambers, but instead in the arms of Atsumu, born of commoner blood, no nobility to his name, but closer to paradise than anyone else Tobio has ever met.

“Yeah,” Tobio presses closer into Atsumu’s embrace, pushing back his bangs, “I think I do.”

He believes in the deity that is Miya Atsumu, who breathes life into his hollow crown and grants him peace of mind; who makes him feel like he deserves to be chosen.

**Author's Note:**

> ROYALTY AUS MAKE ME GO FERAL yes hello
> 
> so basically i wanted to be pretentious and use metaphors and religious imagery cuz uhhh i was Bored :) and ofc i wrote atskg because clearly i am incapable of writing anyone else ever.
> 
> so this au basically takes place around renaissance times, so tobio’s issues with religion and monarchy are based off that time. throughout the series both him and miwa will have their own issues with the system and i’ll try explore to my best ability lol, but really this is just an excuse for me to write miwalisa and atsukage in a historical/royal setting lmao.
> 
> also the series isn’t fully in chronological order for...reasons,,,the reasons just being ~vibes~ so i hope that’s okay.
> 
> anyway! thank you sm for reading i hope you enjoyed it <3


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